Why Public School Misses the Mark on How Children Actually Learn

If you’ve ever felt this in your gut, you’re not alone

Maybe you’ve watched your child light up while building, reading, asking questions… and then shut down the moment learning gets boxed into worksheets and bells.

Maybe you’ve thought, “Something about this just doesn’t feel right.”

I’ve had that feeling for a long time.

After more than 23 years of homeschooling—and watching children learn both inside and outside traditional systems—I’ve come to a simple truth:

Learning is natural.
School is not.

That doesn’t mean children don’t learn in school. Of course they do.
But the way school is structured often works against how learning actually happens.

 

Learning Is a Natural Human Process

Children are born wired to learn.

They learn to walk without lessons.
They learn to talk without worksheets.
They learn cause and effect, patterns, rhythm, problem-solving—simply by living.

Curiosity is the engine.
Repetition is the teacher.
Play is the classroom.

When learning is natural, it’s:

• self-directed
• curiosity-led
• sensory-rich
• emotionally connected
• integrated into daily life

No one has to convince a child to learn. They’re already doing it.

 

Public School Replaces Curiosity With Compliance

This is where things start to go sideways.

Public school is built for efficiency, not individuality.
For management, not mastery.
For control, not curiosity.

Children are asked to:

• sit still for long periods
• learn in fixed time blocks
• absorb information out of context
• move on whether they’re ready or not
• perform on demand

Learning becomes something done to them instead of something that flows from them.

And many kids respond the only way they can—by disengaging.

 

One Pace for Many Minds Doesn’t Work

No two children learn at the same pace. Ever.

Yet public school requires:

• same-age grouping
• same material
• same timeline
• same expectations

Some kids are bored.
Some are overwhelmed.
Some internalize the idea that they’re “behind” or “not good at school.”

In real life, learning doesn’t happen on a schedule.

It happens when readiness meets curiosity.

 

Learning Is Whole-Body. School Is Mostly Head-Only

Children don’t learn with their brains alone.

They learn through:

• movement
• touch
• emotion
• environment
• rhythm
• nature

But school removes most of that.

Movement is limited.
Nature is rare.
Hands-on exploration is secondary.

And then we wonder why kids struggle to focus.

When learning is disconnected from the body, it loses meaning.

 

Real Learning Happens When Kids Feel Safe

This part matters more than most people realize.

Learning shuts down when children feel:

• stressed
• rushed
• constantly evaluated
• compared to others

When kids are safe, relaxed, and supported, learning opens up.

That’s why so much learning happens:

• during play
• in conversation
• outside
• while creating
• while doing meaningful work

Pressure doesn’t produce deep learning.
Connection does.

 

What I’ve Seen After Two Decades Years of Homeschooling

I’ve watched children learn without:

• bells
• grades
• tests
• rigid schedules

I’ve seen kids read early, late, and right on time—each perfectly aligned with their readiness.

I’ve seen learning explode once pressure was removed.

I’ve seen confidence grow when kids were trusted instead of managed.

And I’ve learned this over and over:

Children don’t need to be forced to learn.
They need the space to learn naturally.

 

So What Does Natural Learning Look Like?

It looks surprisingly simple.

• Following interests
• Asking questions
• Building, creating, experimenting
• Reading when curiosity sparks
• Learning math through real life
• Spending time outside
• Allowing rest and rhythm

It’s messy.
It’s organic.
It’s not Pinterest-perfect.

But it works—because it aligns with how children are designed.

 

Why Many Parents Feel Something Is “Off”

If you’ve ever questioned the system, it’s not because you’re difficult or rebellious.

It’s because your intuition is picking up on something real.

Parents know when their child is:

• losing confidence
• disengaging
• stressed
• burned out
• disconnected

That knowing matters.

You’re not imagining it.
And you’re not wrong for questioning it.

 

A Few Takeaways

If you’re feeling unsure, overwhelmed, or torn, hold onto this:

• Learning is not fragile.
• Children are not behind.
• Curiosity is powerful.
• Rest is productive.
• Nature teaches constantly.
• Trust changes everything.

You don’t need perfection.
You don’t need a performance.
You don’t need to recreate school at home.

You just need to pay attention to the child in front of you.

 

For the Parent Who’s Wondering

If something about the system doesn’t sit right with you, trust that.

Learning was never meant to be standardized, rushed, or disconnected from real life.

Children learn best when learning feels like living.

Whether you homeschool, unschool, or are simply rethinking education altogether—know this:

You’re allowed to question.
You’re allowed to choose differently.
You’re allowed to follow intuition over institutions.

Reflective Prompt:
When have you seen your child learn most naturally—without pressure or structure?

That moment is your clue.